new year's eve.  been drinking a little.  not a lot.  i don't normally drink and it seemed like the best way to celebrate the end of a shitty year and to welcome what is probably going to be another shitty year.

if you read the first entry, you're caught up.  massive releasing of angst and anger at the family gathering over christmas.  no one is really speaking to me and i don't expect them to.  well, hold on... there is one person i thought would reach out but she hasn't.

as i cried myself all the way home from this awful blow up, i counted the cost.  lost my dad?  sad, yeah.  but it was revealed that he was a lying sack, so i don't consider that a loss at the moment.  my brother?  not a problem.  he is a self centered prick who never calls or emails or anything, hardly talks to me at these family torture sessions, so it will be business as usual for him.  my sister?  ok, that one got me crying.  we're close, she's the best friend i've ever had forever and we have spent many hours chatting about what a asshat our brother can be and how the whole auntiemomma/uncledaddy thing is just stomach churning.  surely she would understand that i couldn't take it anymore and blew it.

nope.  she's not speaking to me either.  and that pisses me off the most.  i thought about how we aren't going to do the "sister thing" when i come to visit, or how i hurt her by blowing town and leaving this mess for her to deal with.  so while i understand her not being happy with me, i thought she would at least call me and tell me that i messed up.  but she didn't.  just some vagueness on her facebook about it.

so i'm alone.  big surprise.  my family can piss and moan about each other but no one has the cajones to actually say something.

the thing w/ my dad and my aunt... she is a serial wife.  she actually left her third husband to move in with my dad.  i was told that the death of my mother made her realize that life is too short to be stuck in a bad marriage.  when has she ever been stuck in a bad marriage?  she had been divorced twice already... how is that stuck?  seriously, if any other woman moved in with my dad who had been married three times before, no one would blame me for speaking up.  but because she is my aunt, i'm supposed to understand?  i understand a lot, but not the way they want me to "understand".

so she left her third victim and you know the song... had no where to go.  so my dad told her to move in.  he had the room, she needed the support for this transition of life (i think i just threw up a little in my mouth writing that last part).  how do i explain this to my children?

well, us kids conned ourselves into thinking that it was a sister brother thing... but it isn't.  sure, she has her own room and all that, but they are always together.  he essentially is supporting her financially.  they travel (separate hotel rooms?  highly doubtful) together.  they sit too close on the sofa together when we visit.  she touches him a lot.  my 5 year old asked her where they sleep together, in her room or in grampa's room.  i thought i was going to fall off the chair when he did that.  the look on her face was PRICELESS!!!

and during our heated debate about who was the bigger bitch, her or me, she said that she has always loved him and wouldn't let him make it more than it is until they had our blessing... WTF?!  so there you have it.  they are both lying sacks of shit.

ok, the alcohol is starting to wear off.  need to refill the glass.  enough for now.